Where do you usually learn the lessons and knowledge that you now know in your life? By standard, we learn things from the books. Sometimes it’s from the lectures that are being taught at school by our professors, but is that all? What if I told you that there’s one teacher that’s the best teacher among all other options that we have in life? I actually learned 5 life lessons that I would never imagine learning from the books, and that’s the purpose of this article, to share those lessons to you. Here are the following:
1. If you have a breathtaking talent, you only have two options to do with it, really.
Now, what do I mean by this? Sounds like I’m not revealing every detail there is, isn’t it? Well, I want you to picture this first. Imagine you have this propensity to coerce people with your words, you observe the other people around you, and you notice that not everyone has a talent like that, not everyone has your power to lure people to get them do what you want i.e. you’ll make a great salesman for your talent, if you finally decided to make a career out of it.
Now, I’ll ask you; would you use that talent of yours to trick and deceive other people or would you use it for your benefit and also, for the benefit of the people around you?
This is the idea that I want to convey. If you have a talent; you only have two options to do with it, really. Would you use it for the good? Or would you use it for the bad stuff?
If you’re a writer; would you use that talent to destroy other people? Or would you use it to inspire loads of people who don’t want to continue their life anymore and be the hero (life-saver) that they need?
If you’re the kind of person who’s money smart, would you use that skill to deceive people in terms of money? Or would you use it to teach other people on how to handle their finances properly?
What path would you choose? Good or bad? Okay, I know that it’s so much easier to do the bad stuff. I even did quite a few bad things in my life, I’m not exempted to this; I’ve been there.
But would you continue on with the bad path? No, honestly. Would you really want to use that talent of yours to destroy, kill, and manipulate other people? You know, consider yourself one of the lucky peeps out there if you know what your talents are. Not everyone gets to know their talent in life; that’s why if you do, choose to use it for the good stuff.
2. If you start with the mindset of making money first, you’ll never make money at all.
Being young, it’s comprehensible to think about ways to earn money, it’s easy to get caught up with money, but you might be making a wrong move right there fellow young one.
Let me tell you a story; and I won’t even mention if I made this all up or if it happened in real life. Okay, so here goes.
There were four boys and one girl who’s member of a team, and the team was born because of a thesis project. The requirement of their professor to pass was to find a client, and then the next step is to observe the company and find a problem, and the students’ job was to make a system to generate a solution for the problem observed; that system would be passed and demonstrated in front of their professor at the end of the term.
Everything was going well for the team, the client agreed to be their client, but all of a sudden the team wanted to be paid back in exchange for making the system.
The team demanded a fee on the client in exchange for making the system. The result of all of this is conflict between the two parties. The end result was the team lost its valuable client and the team ended up hunting for another client, which is a hard one. Before they even got another client, they had to go through loads of rejections first before they could find a replacement for the client that they lost.
Now, what’s the purpose of the story that I told you, then? What’s the moral of the story? Of course, it’s this: thinking long term!
You see, the team is an experienced team of programmers to make a big system like that, and they can’t demand money initially in the first place. And the next mistake is that they think of money first! Which is a wrong move right there.
If you’re starting out something, don’t think of generating big bucks yet! Don’t look at the numbers yet, instead, yearn to learn first. Get experience, fail, make mistakes, and learn while you’re in the process. The goal is to learn first when you’re starting out, not to make money!
If you already passed through that learning process, only then could you be legible to demand a higher pay. I want to share this quote to you that I so madly love. It’s from the 3 Idiots movie: Pursue excellence, and success will follow – Rancho.
3. The easiest and the hardest one to control in life is one’s self.
Don’t believe me? Don’t worry, you’re not alone, I was once like you. I had your mindset before. You see, when I was growing up, I actually thought that the hardest thing to control in life are the other aspects. I actually thought the following:
- Ah, the people around me, they’re so hard to persuade.
- Mom’s always shouting her lungs out whenever she gets mad at me; it’s hard to control her anger.
- Here it goes again; the long line at the fast food restaurant; a thing that’s hard to control again.
That’s my thinking before. Now, how is it connected to the lesson written above? Well, do you know the difference between the events that I just mentioned to you? Well, it’s this: you absolutely can’t control those events! No matter how hard you try. You just can’t. But you can control you. I’m not writing this because I am saying that “you” is the easiest thing to control in life, but I am saying that you’re much more likely to control yourself than the events mentioned above.
On the flip side, “you” is the hardest to control, too. Picture this; you get so furious with a specific person that it ended up for the both of you to get physical with each other. What lead to that?
You got so mad that you can’t help but punch the person you’re being furious with. Then, what’s the aftermath of that? You get yourself into the situation of the possibility of ending up in jail for the damage that you’ve done to the other person.
What could have prevented this? If only you controlled yourself (your anger), this would’ve been prevented.
See that? This is what I’m trying to convey. That is why I conclude that the hardest thing to control is thyself, not the other aspects, not the other people.
If you’ll watch anything thoroughly, choose to watch yourself at all times. Always ask:
- Am I still being a good person when I do this?
- Would it damage other people who are innocent if I do this?
- What would be the aftermath if I entertained my anger? Would it do me good or would it cause me more problems than I can even handle already?
If there’s one thing that I want you to master controlling in life; it’s this: yourself.
4. Don’t wait for people.
We all make mistakes, we’re human, and no one is purely good. You can make tons of mistakes but there’s one mistake that I want you to avoid that I did. I personally committed this mistake and now, I’m sharing it to you so that you won’t repeat my mistake.
Do you know the biggest mistake that I’ve committed in my life? Well, it’s this: it’s to wait for people to tell me that I could write before I actually started writing words on a blank page.
I waited for people to see the potential in me that I could be a writer even though I always knew back then that all I wanted to be was to be a novelist (a writer who writes novels). Even though I knew what I wanted back then, I didn’t voice it out to other people.
Lucky for me, someone saw the potential in me. But what if the case is different for you? What if you end up waiting for a thing that’s not going to happen? What if no one tells you that you have the potential to be a brilliant writer, a good dancer, a superb businessman, and more?
This is the lesson which I now pass on to you, do not repeat my mistake! Don’t wait for people to tell you to start that business that you always wanted to start, don’t wait for people to tell you that you have the potential to become the author that you’ve always wanted to be, don’t wait for people to say that you have a beautiful voice and that you could become a great singer like Mariah Carey.
Don’t wait for other people to appreciate your art before you actually put in the work because they might not have the appreciation within them to appreciate the kind of art that you produce. It means, they’re not your people.
Why am I sharing this? I know because I’m also human, and just like you, we feel the same feelings. We tend to wait for the validation of the people around us. We want their approval. Don’t do this when it comes to your art because you define you. You tell yourself that you’re a writer; you tell yourself that you’re a painter; you tell yourself that you’re an entrepreneur, you tell yourself that you’re a singer, you tell yourself the validation! And then go ahead and just do the art that’s meant for you anyway.
5. The best way to connect to other people is relating your own experience.
Having listened to many sermons from loads of people already; I noticed a pattern. Picture this; imagine getting your first job right after college. Work is doing fine, but you’re still somehow adjusting to the culture of the work world. You told your supervisor that you’re still not into it fully because you just got out of school, and you’re still adjusting to it.
Your immediate supervisor entertained your concern and conducted a heart to heart talk with you, she told you her own experiences, the struggles she encountered when she was just starting out in the corporate world, the adjustments that your supervisor did, and more.
You finally started to feel elated because finally someone understood your struggle!
Okay, enough story. Now, what’s the story written above for? Well, allow me to explain. If you want to get to the core of people, you have to know how to connect on the emotional side. People want someone who understands them.
You can use this technique that I taught you today if you’re an entrepreneur and you want to rehire someone back at your company after firing them or you can also use this if you’re an HR professional and one of the company employees wants to talk to you for some reason.
Of course, you won’t use this in every situation that you face, though. Just know it by heart, and use it whenever the situation calls for it.
I hope you enjoyed the lessons that I wrote for you. These are lessons that I learned in my personal life and the patterns that I’ve observed in people. I thought that this deserves to be shared because there are lessons that you can’t learn from the books or inside the school premises. I hope you bring it with you, and apply it in your life.
If there’s one thing that I want you to take away from this article; it’s this: “You can’t learn it all through the books, sometimes the most valuable lessons are taught by experience.”